A GROUP TEXT

My phone pings

It’s a message from my class group

A colleague committed suicide

Or is on his way to do so

I’m not sure

There’s a weight on my tongue and in my chest

I feel very cold or maybe it’s the harmattan.

I don’t remember his face

Even when I squint and repeat his name

My stomach revolts in guilt

Another message

His parents are still looking, fear must be gripping their hearts

Would he choose life or death?

How do you know if you were ever kind to someone you can’t remember

Did anyone hold his hand?

To help erode his invasive thoughts

Gave him a hug or listen

Maybe he’d have felt lighter, just a tad bit

Another message, I can’t look

Did he choose life or death?